Morissettes


Eligible for this list : spectacular failures to appreciate irony. This list is named after singer-songwriter, and prime culprit, Alanis Morissette.


Satisfactory is not good enough and has been recognised so for a long time

Sir Michael Wilshaw, to ITV's Daybreak, quoted by The Huffington Post. For extra irony, Sir Michael Wilshaw is head of educational standards in this country.


Fashion statements may seem insignificant, but when they lead to the mainstreaming of violence - unintentionally or not - they matter

US conservative commentator Michelle Malkin explaining why scarf control is more important to her than gun control.


The following, sighted by a correspondent on a van in Austria, was in German but "translates perfectly into English" as:

Shneider Repairs: Your specialist for everything


Reported in New Scientist - a packet of pumpkin seeds that "... may contain traces of natural materials."


An advertisement for a yogurt spotted on a billboard recently:

Women feel they Snack Less after eating [picture of yogurt follows]


President Bush is still using the phrase

War on Terror

with a straight face.


Many manufacturers use "no added sugar" as a selling-point, but the selling point for "New, Recharged BOOST" (a chocolate bar from Cadbury) is

Recharged with GLUCOSE

as if sugar were some kind of health food.


Now a Burger King advertisement that gained something when it crossed the Atlantic:

The Ultimate Whopper: It just tastes better.

(In British slang, one meaning of 'whopper' is a big, or blatant, lie.)


This entry, from the Early Learning Centre catalogue, suggests that an entire marketing department have lost all grip on reality:

For moments that money can't buy ®


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Morissettes Quotes and Links


Wordplay compiled by Richard Stevens.