Untruisms

Some phrases are only used when they are untrue. Although legislation has rendered "This hurts me more than it hurts you" obsolete, and "the cheque is in the post" has long passed into cliche, many other untruisms are thriving in modern English.

Some untruisms reflect on the way we use the language:

• "I'm sure I ..."

• "It goes without saying..."

• "If you say so "

• "I don't want to contradict you..."

• "With all due respect"

• "Far be it from me ... "

• "... not to mention ..."

• "I'm no prude, but ..."

• "I'm not racist, but ..."

• "... to coin a phrase."

• "Near miss" (used to describe a near hit)

• "Glove compartment"

• "Steep learning curve"

• "This door to be kept locked at all times"

• "It is/was the least I could do"

Cornish dialect provides a lovely example: "drekly", which literally means "directly", but is used to mean "later on".

Other untruisms reflect on the way we live:

• "Oh no, I couldn't possibly"

• "I shan't make this a long speech."

• "Nothing, darling."

• "Serves 4"

• "I wasn't asleep, you know."

• "Family planning"

• "... will be made easier by the new online system."

• "Care in the community"

• "NHS Direct"

• "To assemble your Model 123A, simply..."

• "Back in 5 min"

• "I'll just put you on hold for a moment."

• "For your convenience, ..."

• "Congratulations! You have been specially chosen/selected ..."

• "Child-proof lid"

• We will keep your resumé on file, just in case

• "Traffic-calming measures"

• "Brings Science Alive!"

• "Exclusive" (in journalism, or otherwise)

• "Leisure Centre"

• "The Perfect Gift"

• "The choir will now sing for us"( used to indicate that the congregation are not invited to participate.)

• "We are experiencing an unusually high volume of calls"

• Polite notice

• "I have read and agree to the terms of the Flash Player License Agreement"

The sentence "I am armed to the teeth" is an untruism whenever it is pronounced correctly. If it were true, it would be pronounced "Eye ar arrr kaar keef".

RLC points out that the phrase 'hang up' is always untrue, because things can't hang up - by definition, they hang down. That's not an untruism, it is an oxymoron. But interesting.

DK remarks that the suffix "-style" is an untruism in packaging:"The example was 'French-style bread', indicating, of course, that a typical Frenchman would rather bite his own hand off than eat the product". See also 'chocolate-style'.

Most recent addition (November 2011) marked thus. Additions and corrections to richard@onetrickwords.com please.